you think you know...

two years

2006-02-20T21:03:25Z

I guess this is unexpected. I don't really update alot but I was searching through old entries and well i guess this is an appropriate day to update. Rest in peace Jeff.. we miss you

amanda is a sneaky stealer

2005-11-02T22:58:44Z

B O R E D
Jack is @ home to holla at the last CHSFH game since she hasn't gotten to attend one yet. I am here with too much energy to nap and not enough energy to actually accomplish anything although our room is a crazy mess and i have a ton of homework. HA. Listenen to SoCo reminds me so much of fresh/soph year & all those crazy/intense/funny times.. it reminds of me soccer. This time of year always reminds me of soccer and laughing, and erin, and driving around the valley taking pictures of leaves. It reminds me of Avril Lavigne, and baseball games, and beach trips and oh ok this post wasn't supposed to be out that. Just supposed to be a remind that even though im in college i still don't have enough drive to do the things i should. It's almost CHSwim time. It's gonna be sooo weird when mid november rolls around and their is no CHSWIM team.. haha imma miss them but i know squires & pask & a.luff will take care of buisness...
so of course amanda comes in trying to steal a dryer sheet.. so far this week it's been food, water, pocket change, and now dryer sheets..

i believe in french toast

2005-10-09T16:47:49Z

Looking back in november
Feel the sun and remember
That when our time has finally come to pass
Somethings last
Somethings always last

Somethings last
Somethings always last
We laughed, we cried
And all the while we felt so alive
It was you and me

ewww

2005-10-03T03:16:24Z

i miss the smell of chlorine mixed with banana boat and the feeling of the sun on my sweat soaked skin. i miss laughing kids and freeze pops, and papa johns pizza in the middle of days that seemed like would never end. and then they did and i miss them. i miss the way kids would scream, and parents would yell, and the way we would be so tired and so frusterated that any minute we could pop. i miss the end of the day the goodbyes and the walking to my car and the quiet drive with the a/c whirling and knowing that i had the rest of the night to spend sitting by another pool where the smells were the same, and the kids would laugh, and the freeze pops would be replaced with water ice, but the kids would still scream, and the parents would still yell, and the guards were always on the edge of a breakdown, and no matter what happened and no matter how old i got it would still feel like home.

i miss everything about the summer. i miss the way the sky would get dark and sarah and i would text and pray for thunder, always hoping for the rain storms that never seemed to occur at the right time. i miss the days when the sky would open up and it would pour leaving us soaked down to the skin. i miss the laughter that would occur after an 8 hour day in the sunlight with the prospect of another one the next day, and the stress of heat stroked kids, and health inspectors with no chemicals and no chlorine.

ugh i love the fall but looking at the calender breaks my heart because memorial day is so fucking far away.

beezeswims @ 2005-09-28T17:04:00

2005-09-28T21:04:41Z

In the room pretending to be doing something useful with my abudance of time, instead im printing pictures to decorate my closet door! yeah thats a big waste of time but oh well i did laundry and cleaned up the room and organized the desk so i at least did some things productive today. oh well.

and i'm proud to be an american where at least i know i'm free..

2005-09-19T05:11:14Z

At school. Need sleep. I promise i'm gonna fix this thing up nice and good on tuesday between spanish and english.. if its not cold enough to nap

haha this is funny

2005-08-26T15:26:26Z

What You Really Think Of Your Friends

Sarah Squires is your soulmate.

You truly love Mike Gourdier.

You consider Mike Doughterty your true friend.

You know that Liz Gee is always thinking of you.

You'll remember Mike Hopkins for the rest of your life.

You secretly think Amy Chernekoff is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.

You secretly think that Taylor Hopkins is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.

You secretly think that Joey Olivastro is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Joey Olivastro changes lovers faster than underwear.

You secretly think Mo Meara is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Mo Meara has a hidden internet romance.

What Do You Think of Your Friends?

welcome to existence

2005-08-06T01:47:13Z

how does one begin to pack up their life- i've only moved once and i was two and half -> everything that means anything
is here in my red room packed into drawers, stuffed on shelves or jammed into boxes.

how do i choose what books to bring?

or what t-shirts to leave out?

what pictures get a place on the wall?

what nail polishes get left behind?

do i bring all twenty pairs of flip flops?

do all six hoodies come?

do i empty pictues out of picture frames?

and rip posters off the wall?

do i strip the only home i know naked and pack it all up?

.....UGH am i going to feel this unprepared for the next 21 days?

haha update or not

2005-07-25T03:14:35Z

I know this layout is mad boring, I'll change it eventually when i get the time - the new icon is love though it's grace! she's the coolest!

photographs that are lost forever

2005-07-12T14:46:43Z

New layout - unsure of how long it will last but im gonna start updating again.. i swear

not like anyone reads this but it's worth a try...

i need to take a shower

this is what i mean by that

2005-07-02T16:05:54Z

UGH

ahhh summer

2005-06-19T02:41:57Z

I haven't updated in a long time. I'm sorry.

It's like everythings been going on in a short period of time; between prom and graduation and senior week - its been hectic. I've started work at Arden and I mos def enjoy it.
I love summer. The smell, and the feeling just the way everything is, I just feel relaxed.

Well i'm laying in bed watching Italian Job and playing w/ Itunes - the new ipod is mos def love. It's thicker than beeze 2 but it does the coolest shit so im down.

this is me now

2005-05-12T02:31:03Z

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

the west wing is love

2005-05-10T00:34:13Z

i LOVE this SHOW!

toby: i didn't realize babies come with hats. you guys crack me up. you don't have jobs, you can't walk, you can't speak the language, you don't a have a dollar in your pockets but you've got yourselves a hat. so everything's fine. i don't want to alarm you or anything, but i'm dad. and for you, son, for you this will be the last time i pass the buck, but i think it should be clear from the get go that it was mom who named you huckleberry. i guess she was feeling like life didn't present enough challenges to overcome on its own. and honey, you've got a name now too. your mom and i named you after an incredibly brave, an incredibly brave woman, really not all that much older than you. your name is molly. huck and molly. so, what do i do? well you're gonna need food and clothes and doctors and dentists, there's that. and, should you have any questions along the way, i'm gonna be doing stuff like this, huck, cause you're leaking a little bit out of your mouth there. you holding my finger, son? hey molly, your brother's holding my hand, you want to hold my hand? this isn't going to mean anything to you, but leo was right. leo was right.
~~~~~
bruno: We all need some therapy because somebody came along and said liberal means soft on crime, soft on drugs, soft on Communism, soft on defense. And we're going to tax you back to the stone age because people shouldn't have to work if they don't want to. And instead of saying 'Well, excuse me, you right-wing reactionary, xenophobic, homophobic, anti-education, anti-choice, pro-gun Leave it to Beaver trip back to the '50s'. We cowered in the corner and say, 'Please don't hurt me'. . . . Let's have two parties. . .

josh = love

2005-05-10T00:07:16Z

i love the west wing

1) CJ
Is there anything I can say, other than the President rode his bicycle into a tree?

LEO
He hopes never to do it again.

C.J.
Seriously. They’re laughing pretty hard.

LEO
He rode his bicycle into a tree, C.J.. What do you want me to -- “The President,
while riding a bicycle on his vacation in Jackson Hole, came to a sudden arboreal
stop” -- What do you want from me?

C.J.
A little love, Leo.

stronger than the rest, better than the best

2005-05-07T14:58:51Z

WooHoo. This is the first update on the new computer! Haha. Well their is nothing intresting to say, just that this week i was sick, and that we took our ap english test and that was not good. Yesterday i went to the chs lax game and watched my lady raiders beat some brandywine butts. I also got to see Marn, K8, and Jenni, so that was very exciting, Uh Im listening to Tegan and Sara and they are the new favorites. I'm much enjoying having my own computer up in my room- it makes life so much less complicated.

michael phelps is the father of my future children

2005-04-27T02:10:17Z

gilmore girls = love. honestly. what more can i say. besides i want to have logan's babies. He is so perfect. and Luke & Loralei are just too cute for their own good. Although i sense trouble with Loralei accepting Logan/Rory, i don't think she's all up for that like i am.

oh OTH = SEXY! haha nathan is seriously so hot with his rolled up sleeves! and of course the chad & i love andy him and karen are so cute. Well Well Jake & Peyton = TEARS! (lol sarah!)

Well this week has been filled with boredom cracking down on the ap nonsense and attempting to actually care about school. It's easier said than done when you have 18 days left! 18!

bring on the rain

2005-04-18T20:08:47Z

yesterday was sunday - which means today is monday. But suprisingly today didn't suck because mommy let me skip school and she took me shopping! I got the prom dress, prom shoes, three new pairs of flip flops, a new skirt w/ shirt and a golden girls t-shirt! can we say yippe

Well now its time to buckle down and get this paper done...ugh the joys of senior year

may 15 (b-day & party) - may 24 (last day of school) - june 2 (prom) - june 5 (graduation/senior week) - august 27 (move in day!)

talk about playing the waiting game - we also have my last batch of swim meets thrown in their..talk about traumatic

i run miles and miles..

2005-04-17T02:49:31Z

I know i haven't updated in awhile. Things have been intresting around here. It's been painful going to school. I decided on UD so me and Jackee are going to be roomates and have a hella good time = im so counting down the days. Today was fun, hit up the soccer game, hot tub action w/ the one and only, and watching my first little league game of the season - sitting there watching those boys in blue made me remember watching so many games with chern. It's wierd. Hung out w/ little sister watched a movie and ate ritas and wawa which is always fun.

i watch the walls around me crumble...

2005-03-30T22:01:26Z

im bored

so nothing is really new. it's spring break and whatever ya know the deal. easter at the grandma's house and stuff like that. it's been decent. hung out w/ all the standard favorites - leslie, sarah champ, sarah, waski, peej & even hit up amanda's the first night and hung out w/ marcos, mo, jena - ya know that crew. Whatever im to bored to even waste time writing this. I really need something to do. UGH it needs to be summer - at least when im bored then i can just go sit at dv and be bored with five other people...

no mercy for a soul thats just way to fucked up

2005-03-25T05:53:11Z

you paint me
pretty pictures
pressing bitter
words
against my tongue

lies only meant for
me to hear
your my
mistake
an old love
turned inside out

you are not so
beautiful
anymore

A face that dances and it haunts me
With laughter still ringin in my ears
I still find pieces of your presence here
even, even after all these years

this ones for the girls

2005-03-20T03:15:20Z

Man i wish it was summer
The summer = Fun! lol sarah and i decided july 11th & 12th would win for the funnest days ever since july 11th was the "sausage phone call incident" and the night of half nekkid swimming in waski's pool & July 12th was when we threw her stuff in a garbage bag and walked in the rain looking like hoodlums - Sarah why do you always look homeless? lol and we saw the notebook that day! Yeah the summer = much more fun then the school year

SS + PJK III = LOVE!

2005-03-01T03:14:26Z

swimming is over! and its snowing!

Ok well the short version is the girls swam okay. PJ = best friend = state champ! mike hopkins = state champ x 2 = my idol = one of my first friends!, waski = fancy pants = AWESOME! haha okay!

I was so incredibly hyper last night it wasn't even funny. i love states, im so sad im done swimming, but im hoping that i get to come back forever and ever to attend them as a spectator and maybe some day watch my kids swim.. how fun would that be? lol well im to hyper to actually write anything comprehendable!

BLACH

2005-02-18T17:54:33Z

I can't believe it's really over. We had our last swim meet yesterday, and it was sad so I'm not gonna talk about it. I'm just gonna tell you a story about this little thing called rachel and evan breaking the TV. EVan and I in our juvenille fighting were arguing over who got to watch tv, so he would turn the tv on, and i would turn it off using the remote. This went on for approx a minute, after we were done and i won the argument i went to turn the tv on and it was a mess of crazy black and white lines, and now, a bunch of hours later it is still like it, and me and evan are required to buy a new one if this one can't be fixed. I Don't HAVE THE MONEY TO BUY A NEW TV! I CAN'T EVEN AFFORD WENDY's! Sooo this is a problem, and the parent's are a little pissed because we don't have the money to spend on a TV, and we also need a new washer, and we just got back from our little trip to NC...soo life kinda blows

this is me

2005-02-16T03:39:54Z

I'm updating because Les asked me too last night.

I feel like everything's falling apart and im trying to peice everything together with my bare hands. I hate feeling like this, feeling like i have no control over anything, but then i look at you and for a moment it all makes sense again. How do you do that? I hate that im barely hanging on and your thriving, i hate that i'm at a loss. I hate that your not here to show me where the peices go.

I hate that one moment im fine and the next im a mess. I hate that i don't know what i want, that i've never known what i want, and that you've always known. I hate that i can't hate you because i love you, because i've always loved you, because your you and i'm me and this is the game we play.

try and figure that out